Parody
Short Shift/Longevity
(To be sung to the tune of Cake’s Short Skirt/Long Jacket)


I want a girl with a mind like a big sponge
I want a girl who knows how to file
I want a girl who asks the right questions and
Has a desire to stay for while


I want a girl with great qualifications
Who will work for pennies but
is sharp as a tack
She's asking how may I help you
She's picking up the page
She's liking our factory
And not smoking crack


I want a girl with a short shift and loooooooooooooongevity


I want a girl who comes in most days
I want a girl who stays her shift
I want a girl with uninterrupted poverty
Who jumps through hoops without passing the buck
With fingernails that allow for touch typing
And a voice that is like a receptionist


She is fast and thorough
And sharp as a tack
She's liking our factory
And not smoking crack


I want a girl with a short shift and loooooooooooooong looooooooongevity


I want a girl who’s a great multi-tasker
I want a girl with good references
At Craigslist she finds my ad and she answers
We'll start to talk and I give her the job


She wants the chair and the desk that I give her
She has a car that will get her here
She’s changing her cell plan from the old Motorola
She’s driving here in a beat up Corollla


I want a girl with a short shift and loooooooooooooongevity